Today’s story is written by my younger sister, Tiffany, who has a diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder, bipolar type. Tiffany has shared regular stories on my site since February 2015. The purpose of her writing is to raise awareness of what it’s like to live with mental illness, and serves as a gentle reminder for ALL of us to continually press forward towards mental health and wholeness. If you’d like to read the stories I’ve written about Tiffany’s journey and all the stories she’s shared on this site, check out Tiffany’s Story. Without further ado, here’s Tiffany.

Throughout my life, I’ve had a number of issues with focusing and staying on task. They often call that Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). I have that label placed on me and I don’t mind. I’m classified as having the inattentive type. I’ve had people, including my kids, tell me to slow down. I’m always looking at what’s next. That inhibits me from enjoying any given moment. I need to just breathe and enjoy the happy, peaceful times.

My mental illness conditions don’t always allow me to stay focused and on task. In the past, I quit many jobs because I was not focusing or staying on task. When I’m moving from one thought to the next, my anxiety gets extremely high. When I’m communicating with the voices in my head, I have to keep the loud, ever-changing conversations going. The voices confuse me, so I often retreat and isolate myself.

It’s important for me to keep up with my mental health so I can focus and stay on task.

I hope these stories illustrate how self-care is needed when dealing with focus and staying on task in the past, present, and looking forward to the future?!

Relationships have helped me deal with my isolating issues. I have a strong support system that I can be open and honest with. Sometimes we laugh at psycho me and that is alright.

I walked into my psychiatrist’s office the other day with so much to catch him up on. Guess what? I forgot what I was going to talk about with him! He recommended, as he always does, to make a list before my appointments for both my kids and myself. Sometimes I do that, but often I just don’t think of it. My psychiatrist offered me another way to focus on what’s going on. He suggested using mnemonics. That is making a sentence from the first letter of what I want to remember. He explained to me that repetition is the mother of learning. He wrote these strategies down for me, along with the reminder to RELAX to REMEMBER. There are often times that I’m having a conversation, and I completely forget what was being said. I have noticed that everyone does that from time to time, so I’m not alone. I just get confused because my emotions don’t match the conversations that are going on. I guess it’s alright to just say, “I forgot what we were talking about!” Focusing and staying on task is tough sometimes, but there are ways to deal with it!

I rarely get to hang out with my brother since he lives out of town, but I recently got to spend the day with him. My brother works in the mental health field and is pretty good at keeping me on task! He is the kind of guy who likes to enjoy each and every moment. That is the reason I look up to him so much. My mom dropped me and my son off at his place. We chilled for a bit while he was smoking some food for our lunch. After lunch, we went to Legoland at the Mall of America, and we let my son, Xander, go on a ride. My focus and staying on task issues were pretty good most of the time. He had to tell me a couple times, “Just chill, Tiff. You’re always moving so fast.” The next day we celebrated the one-year anniversary of my dad’s lung transplant. Pretty much right when my brother arrived at my sister’s place, I wanted to take pictures. My brother got kind of irritated and said, “Just let the moment to take pictures happen. Don’t force it!” I was focused on getting the pictures taken, and I got my way. I tend to rush life, so being with him forces me to slow down. When I am focused and staying on task, I actually enjoy moments with my brother and my family.

As you may be able to tell by my writing, it is difficult for me to stay on task. My first diagnosis when I was just out of college was ADD/ADHD. The doctor prescribed me Adderall. I was told my personality changed drastically, and I feel that drug was the start of my drug addiction. I’ve heard Adderall has been the start of many peoples’ addictions?! I had a couple huge bottles of the drug because I was not taking it as prescribed. They were stolen from an apartment I had in Minneapolis because I was hanging out with the wrong kind of people. Over the years, I have been put on numerous stimulant and non-stimulant ADD/ADHD medications. My doctors now know NOT to put me on ANY of them. I know how I abused those drugs in the past, and I don’t trust myself with any of the stimulant medications. If I could go back in time, I would have never started taking Adderall or any of the medications for focusing. Staying on task and focusing takes a lot of work, but I’m glad there are other ways to deal with those concerns.

Everyone seems to want to keep their mind sharp and active. I’ve had a few conversations with my friends about that subject. I have been told by doctors that I have brain damage from the numerous times I attempted suicide in the past. There are many times I was near death and in the Intensive Care Unit. To keep my mind active is very important. I keep a calendar for my appointments and what I need to do each day. I also enjoy writing and reading, which is important for my brain. Lately, I have found that I can’t remember much. Ask me what I did yesterday, and I can’t remember all of the time. I have found that I am enjoying each day more and am appreciating the small moments. If I could go back in time, I wouldn’t have attempted suicide, but I can’t always control what my mind is doing to me. Someday, I’d like to be an advocate for suicide awareness. I have personal experience with the issue and I feel like I could help others. No problem is big enough to end your life. There are ways to cope.

I am always looking for suggestions on how to improve my memory. My friends, family and doctors help me slow down because yes, sometimes I’m moving too fast. I may get lost in conversations, not be able remember, or move too fast, but I am at a happy place in my life. Working on focusing and staying on task helps me to enjoy the small moments more!

Tiffany

 

It’s a joy to continue our Sisterhood of Significance series with Kristine’s nominee, Chris. Kristine nominated Chris for the Sisterhood because “She is a friend and realtor. She has helped me find “home” twice and has also endured breast cancer, and never ever lost her spunk or positive attitude.” It’s clear that Chris is living a life of significance, whether she knows it or not, whether she believes it or not. With that, it’s my sincerest pleasure to introduce you to our next member of the Sisterhood of Significance. Welcome, Chris! It’s an honor to call you sister.

For 20 years, Chris worked faithfully as an administrative assistant for one company. She started working there when she was 18 years old and loved it. On the 20th anniversary of her employment, the company informed her that they were going to be eliminating her job and would need to send her back to the switch board.

Given the news, Chris contacted her friend who’s a real estate agent; she’d heard they were hiring. Chris kept her full-time day job while training and beginning work as a real estate agent at Edina Realty. For 2 1/2 years, she did real estate work during breaks, lunch hours, nights and on weekends. I asked Chris if she recalls this being a stressful time of life. “No,” she responded without a second thought. “It was something that I needed. It was a high.”

Over the course of a relatively short period of time, Chris experienced significant changes to both her work life and her personal life. Chris’ mother had a history of breast cancer. In 2002, the breast cancer returned, and in 2004, it metastasized. When the breast cancer metastasized, Chris went part-time at work so she could spend more time with her mom. Chris’ mother passed away in 2005. Since Chris was her mother’s primary caregiver during the journey through breast cancer, it was, indeed, a stressful time. In 2006, Chris and her husband divorced.

Chris hung onto her part-time job, but in 2008, the company reorganized and Chris was let go. Chris was left with no job and no health insurance. This forced her to “sink or swim” in the real estate business. Unfortunately, the layoff happened at the same time as the real estate market crash. Fortunately, Chris survived. Not only did she make it through the layoff and real estate crash, but business went up!

In 2014, Chris went in for her annual mammogram. On her way to vacation in Colorado, she got a call letting her know they had detected breast cancer. Since her mother passed away from breast cancer, her grandmother passed away from breast cancer, and her great aunts, her mom’s sister, and her sister have all had breast cancer as well, they did some extra testing and found out that Chris had Triple Negative Ductal Carcinoma and a rare breast cancer gene, PALB2, which affects not only the breasts, but the ovaries and pancreas. Needless to say, Chris flew home early from her vacation in Colorado and quickly became a “guinea pig for doctors in the area.”

One day after returning early from her Colorado vacation, Chris met with a surgeon. She brought two of her sisters with her for support and “to help make the right decision for [her]” because “it is always better to have someone with you during a time like this, as you don’t always hear everything correctly.” Because of the Triple Negative diagnosis, the Oncologist planned a lumpectomy.

Originally, Chris and her broker had made a decision to keep Chris’ diagnosis private “due to people not thinking I would be available to help them with their real estate transactions.” But once the reports were in and the decision was made to do 16 rounds of chemotherapy in 20 weeks, she knew she needed to tell her colleagues at Edina Realty; she would be losing her hair and didn’t know how she’d be feeling. So the day after her meeting with the surgeon, Chris shared the cancer diagnosis with her colleagues during their weekly meeting, and let them know she would be needing chemo. She asked her colleagues to pray for her, and asked them to not come into work if they were sick. Chris needed her colleagues, she needed to be around them, and she needed work to keep going, especially as she journeyed through cancer. When Chris made the announcement, one of her coworkers got up and prayed for her. All of her colleagues rallied around her. Just 20 minutes later, Chris went in to get her port placed.

On September 24, 2014, just 22 days after her lumpectomy, Chris began her first round of chemotherapy with an incredible end goal in mind. Chris and her family had brought her mom home to hospice on February 4, 2005, so she marked that date with the significance it deserved. She recalls with determination, “I had to do whatever possible to make it work.” Yes, Chris wanted to COMPLETE all 16 rounds of chemotherapy by February 4, 2015, the 10-year anniversary of the date they brought her mom home to hospice to pass away.

Chris no longer had her mother and was now divorced, but she had no shortage of support from family and friends during her breast cancer journey. Chris’ older sister (who had been through breast cancer herself) became the mother figure Chris needed. She made sure Chris ate properly and had everything she needed to feel good. She also made daily calls to check in.

When Chris found out she had breast cancer, 10 people showed up at her house, 8 of those had personally journeyed through cancer. And the night she shaved her head, 17 people showed up to support her, cry with her and care for her. Chris’ friend, Brigette, came to every chemo appointment. And one of Chris’ friends sent flowers every day of chemotherapy. All of Chris’ friends are “very close.” Chris is the common denominator of them all. They showed up and were incredibly supportive during this difficult time.

Chris tried to keep a positive attitude all the way through her breast cancer journey. The day of the lumpectomy, the doctors determined she needed another mammogram. She got into position for the mammogram, but the technician couldn’t find the lump, so the technician left her in position while she left the room. Needless to say, this was incredibly painful, but Chris made the best of the situation! When she was done with the mammogram that day, her gown got caught in the chair when she tried to get up. She recalls laughing “so hard” with the technician. “Everyone’s sad for you,” Chris said. “I needed to diffuse it.”

The first four rounds of chemotherapy (also known as “Red Devil”) were administered every two weeks because they were so strong. Everything was going “really good” until round three. Chris was up late after that round of chemo, and took five hours to get ready the next day. Ultimately, her white count went so low, she had to go in for a blood transfusion. Knowing how important that transfusion was on her journey to health, Chris has participated in blood drives ever since, and encourages “everyone that is physically able to please donate whenever they can.”

Chris says she “became very selfish” during chemotherapy. She didn’t go out and refrained from shaking hands. She ate protein before every round of chemo, which helped her experience less sickness. And she didn’t tell her clients she had breast cancer, but it was tough some days. Chris continued to have open houses and worked every day EXCEPT the days she had chemo. In fact, she actually increased business that year.

On February 4, 2015, Chris finished her last round of chemotherapy. Just in time to mark the day they brought her mom home to hospice 10 years prior. It took Chris a total of 20 weeks to complete 16 rounds of chemotherapy.

Based on statistics and the rare breast cancer gene, Chris had an 85% chance of breast cancer coming back within 2-3 years, even AFTER she’d completed chemotherapy. So Chris had two options, proceed with radiation or have a mastectomy.

She went on vacation with her friends and cried the whole time. Ultimately, Chris chose a mastectomy. The procedure was completed on March 17, 2015. Chris said it “was a breeze.”

After her mastectomy, Chris drank a ton of water and walked the halls frequently. Because of Chris’ positive attitude and rare cancer gene, all the nurses loved her and everyone wanted success for her. Fortunately, Chris recovered well. Less than 16 hours after the surgery, the doctor came in to find Chris cleaned up, wearing makeup and ready to be released. The doctor released her home with drains on. Just six days after her mastectomy, she returned to work!

Chris opted for reconstructive surgery. She asked the plastic surgeon how long the process would take, and how many ccs of saline are typically added every week. No surprise given Chris’ positive attitude and determination to press through breast cancer, she requested that 50 ccs of saline be added on a weekly basis. Chris said the doctor looked at her like “nobody does that!” Yet again, Chris proved the doctors wrong. The weekly 50 cc injections were no issue for Chris! In fact, some weeks, they filled her with 75-100 ccs of saline.

Chris had reconstructive surgery on June 30, 2015. She used a lot of coconut oil so she has very few scars. In August 2015, Chris’ left implant started leaking so she had to go in to get a replacement. They ended up replacing both implants so they matched, as they had changed since she first had reconstructive surgery in June. After the second reconstruction and when her nipples were made, Chris had to heal for two months before she could get her areolas which were made by tattoo and took only one hour. Everything was complete by November 2015.

Because of the rare PALB2 gene that affects not only the breasts, but the ovaries and pancreas, Chris had a partial hysterectomy in October 2015. She returned to work the following day.

Chris says she “worked through everything because she had to.” In fact, her business increased 2015 over 2014. “Business is strong,” and she is out “living life” again.

Now Chris “helps people try to get through” breast cancer. She participated in the Susan G. Komen 3-day walk three years in a row. She also volunteers as part of The Firefly Sisterhood, an organization that “connects women diagnosed with breast cancer and trained breast cancer survivors to offer support, guidance and hope.” Through the program, Chris mentors women and helps them “make choices for what’s right for them” as they journey through breast cancer.

Chris goes to follow-up appointments every six months. “I did everything my mom didn’t do,” she states with a certain peace and confidence. “Everything I was afraid of never came true. I never had a poor me attitude. I live life and help the ones I can. It’s not the end of the world.”

 

 

 

On January 6, 2017, I woke with a crystal clear vision for the Sisterhood of Significance. I shared my story of significance on March 8, 2017, then passed the torch and nominated Amy as the next member of the Sisterhood of Significance. Amy nominated Kristine, and Kristine nominated Chris. Soon, I’ll be meeting with Chris’ nominee. She’ll share her story of significance, I’ll take notes and photographs, and will feature her story on the site. Chris’ nominee will pass the torch by nominating someone who’s living a life of significance, whether they know it or not, whether they believe it or not. And that woman will join the Sisterhood! So goes the chain, on and on, until we have hundreds of women in the Sisterhood of Significance. Follow the hashtag #theSOS and CLICK HERE to learn more about the Sisterhood of Significance!

Five years ago today, I began sharing words and photographs on the world wide web.

When I sat down on our living room couch and presented the concept of a custom website and blog to my husband in early April 2012, I thought I knew what I was in for. The truth is, I had no clue. Absolutely no clue.

I had no clue I’d publish 455 posts in the next 5 years, 95 unpublished drafts on top of that.

I had no clue I’d attend 4 writing conferences in 5 years. No clue I’d be brave enough to meet with a literary agent. “Go do it, I want to see it,” she said. No clue that even with her encouragement, I’d be scared to write and send that book proposal. No clue that I’d write and thoroughly edit two children’s book manuscripts instead. No clue that an author of 36 books would give me the time of day, listen to my story and tell me “you’re more ready for this than you know.” No clue that her words would rattle in my brain every day for three years, wondering if I was TRULY ready for this. No clue that I’d stand face-to-face with her three years later and tell her “I THINK I’m finally ready for this now.”

I had no clue I’d join a writing group. No clue I’d break down half of our meetings because the dream was simultaneously buried and about to burst out, but was all twisted and tangled up inside. No clue I’d edit a book with one of those writing group brothers.

I had no clue that I’d travel to Haiti, Dominican Republic and Kenya, writing my way through each mission trip. No clue that a dream would come true 10 years before I thought it was even possible – an invitation from Compassion International to write my way through a trip with a bunch of sponsors and three other writers.

I had no clue that birthing a blog would lead to me leaving a 14 1/2 year career in speech-language therapy. No clue that it would take 3 full years to make that decision. No clue how much of a battle it would be to trust God and His call on my life to write and photograph instead of doing the “right thing” and earning regular income for my family.

I had no clue that my desire to “explore professional photography” would lead to so many photo shoots. No clue that people I didn’t know would want me to take photographs for them. No clue I’d be asked to photograph newborns, seniors, engagements and even a wedding. No clue that I would need to rethink God’s plan and purpose for my life, that there might be more to this photography thing than I ever would have imagined.

I had no clue that I’d “rebrand” 4 1/2 years in, that I’d take down my original website and redo the whole thing from ground zero. No clue it would take 4 months. No clue how hard that would be. No clue how much of a relief it would be to merge my love of photography with writing and storytelling. No clue how difficult it would be to keep the vision while working the plan…day by day by day.

I had no clue that I’d write through my husband’s eye cancer, and decide NOT to write through my dad’s lung transplant part way in. No clue I’d launch a three-year Special Mamas series. No clue that I’d write prolifically through THREE 31 Days series. No clue that I’d teeter to the other extreme, feeling blank, void, wordless, with nothing profound to say but once a month. No clue I’d remain nearly silent through one of the most transformational periods of my life. No clue that I’d have to look long and hard at this writing calling, this photography calling five years in, and ask myself ONCE AGAIN, is this really what I’m supposed to be doing, is this really who I am?

Yes. Five years ago today, I began sharing words and photographs online. For NINE years before that, I dreamed of writing publicly and becoming a published author. Writing and photography are the ONLY “hobbies” I’ve had since I was a little girl. I have proof in the camera carrying, the piles of pictures, the journals, the tiny and overly-filled pieces of paper with words that mean something to only me.

Yes. It took five whole years for me to realize that telling stories through writing and photography isn’t MY dream and MY dream alone. It’s God’s dream FOR ME.

It’s as simple and as complicated as that.

The longer I travel this road, the deeper I go, the more my writing and photography dreams become reality, the more I realize that this is totally hard, seemingly impossible, and totally NOT in my hands half of the time. That’s because this is God’s dream FOR ME. His way of bringing my best gifts to light in order to bring light to the world THROUGH ME.

As hard as it is, as unlikely as it seems, this is the truth I’m coming to believe. My “Plan B” was God’s “Plan A” all along.

So how about you? What seed, what dream has God planted in you?

Maybe you buried it deep. Perhaps it’s just below the surface.

Maybe it’s something you’ve always thought of as a “hobby.” Perhaps it’s a wild hair you had one day…what if I could do this someday?

Maybe it’s totally do-able. Perhaps it’s impossible.

Maybe that dream crossed your mind once and you disregarded it as “crazy, far fetched, no way that’d ever happen.” Perhaps you can’t stop thinking about that thing, that one idea, that spark of brilliance you just can’t get off your mind.

So what’s your seed? What’s the dream that’s tugging on your heart?

Today, in honor of five years of sharing words and photographs online, I’m asking you to consider…

What if your dream is God’s dream for you?

I’m not asking you to ditch Plan A for Plan B.

I’m just asking you to consider…

What if your dream is God’s dream for you?

Today, in honor of five years online, in honor of God’s dreams for me and God’s dreams for you, I’m giving away ONE 1-HOUR PHOTO SHOOT to ONE READER ($100 value). Winner MUST live IN the Minneapolis/St Paul metro or be willing to travel TO the Minneapolis/St Paul metro for the photo shoot. Winner will need to schedule the photo shoot between now and Sunday, September 24, 2017. Any number of subjects are permitted for the 1-hour photo shoot (you choose…head shots, family shots, extended family shots or anything in between), but the winner MUST be IN the photos! Photos will be outdoors, on location. Winner will receive ONE CD of professionally edited photographs. A sampling of my favorite photographs from the winner’s photo shoot will be featured on my website! Photo shoot is non-transferrable. Enter to win in the Rafflecopter below! Winner will be randomly selected and announced on my Facebook page on Wednesday, August 2, 2017.

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